Wednesday January 9 2008

Bluebird Gift

This morning Joe offered to go grocery shopping first thing, so I gave him a pretty big grocery list. He loaded the dogs in the SUV and took off. He did well with getting most of it. He couldn't find three things. He also emptied the recycling that has been in the car for far too long now. He stayed in town for lunch. I worked on catching up the blog, so in case you haven't seen it you need to go back to Monday for the report on the last chemo treatment. The good news still seems incomprehensible.

Had another night much like the one before, but could say I felt some better this morning. I have had NONE of the past effects and stomach pain that I've had after the other treatments which lasted nearly the whole week. I have to say this is due to the Miralax and it is working wonders for feeling better this time. Chest/port implant is still quite painful, and taking a deep breath is difficult, and I get sort of breathless pretty easy. But by later afternoon there was good improvement in that too. While Joe was gone I vacuumed and swept the kitchen floor and a few other things. Took a nap later in the afternoon. I'm finding that a nap is good right now. By dinner time I feel another level better.

We had been forecast to have another storm, but after starting off very cloudy it turned beautiful and sunny the rest of the day. We had a pretty sunset. Our snow has settled down some, but its still pretty white now.

Tuesday January 8 2008

Edward Scissorhands

Tuesday has been mostly resting up and starting to recover. Slept o.k. with the usual spells awake. I woke up about the usual time and got all the pills down including the new Miralax, which sure sounds like it's plastic - polyethylene Glycol. My hand was still swollen and weird looking. Still thinking the surgery was more than I expected and was a lot more sore than I expected. Dr. Poore's office called me first thing to see how I was doing. I told her I thought I might have a touch of pneumonia in my lungs, as taking a deep breath was difficult and I could hear that papery crackling sound when I breathed. I didn't like that at all. She said that could be from the anesthesia and if it didn't get better I would have to see the doctor. The pain pills have made it bearable and by afternoon I was feeling some better.

Joe hovered a lot asking how I felt multiple times. Got some phone calls. I walked for 15 minutes, setting the timer and walking around the hall/living room/kitchen route, did a load of laundry,....... Nancy I found your brown sock and have it in an envelope to mail to you so don't throw out the other one......... Saw Frosty out in front outside our gate going up and down with the plow some more. Fixed us a pot roast and vegetables in the crock pot that made getting some dinner easy, and there was leftover salad and muffins to put on the table. After dinner I felt a bunch better. Was pretty tired out and ready for bed though. Figured it might be best to prop up the pillows and not lay flat and that worked pretty good for the breathing.

If you'd like to read Gina's notes and see the photos she took of the drive up go to: http://www.horseback41.blogspot.com/

Monday January 7 2008

Highway to Heaven (Hoback Actually) taken by Gina

GET READY FOR AMAZING NEWS, AND SEE HOW YOUR PRAYERS, BLESSINGS AND POSITIVE THOUGHTS HAVE MADE A HUGH CHANGE IN MY RECOVERY!! THANKS TO THE HOLY SPIRIT AND DEAR HEAVENLY FATHER, THE LORD MY GOD!! THANK YOU ALL WHO PLACED ME ON A PRAYER LIST OR GAVE A BLESSING OR OFFERED A PRAYER OR TWO AND HAVE BEEN THERE IN SUPPORT AND FRIENDSHIP.

Got up about 5 a.m. Showered, did my hair and dressed. The no food or drink order simplified things by not having any breakfast etc. Joe got the SUV out of the garage and warming up for me and off I went to town. (I meant to leave one of those Banquet frozen crock pot meals in the crock pot for Joe and never even went in the kitchen, and forgot all about doing that. I don't know what he ate later, probably cereal.)

The temperature was about minus 16 at home the first time I looked. In the car my temperature went everywhere from that to minus 21 to minus 34 for a while and kept going up and down. There was fog, sometimes thick and then you would drive out of it and it was totally clear with stars above, or it was thin and just over the top of the car. Where Frosty had cleared our road was the best traveling all the way to the pavement. When I got to the turn at our mailbox the county road obviously hadn't been cleared yet, although I had seen a snowplow head over the hill toward the Parkinson Place about sunset on Sunday. It did have a one lane path cleared that had since been snowed on, so one of our neighbors with a plow had likely gone down the road. It was certainly better than no track at all. And there were a few new vehicle tracks through those drifts so I was o.k. I stopped at the mailbox, trudged over to stick a couple of letters in and that snow was over my boots. Found that plowed part of the road only went to the corner intersection and then just some tracks through about 8" or so new snow. Stayed in 4WD to the cattle guard on the paved county road where it had been cleared and switched to Auto 4WD which is a good safety feature of the car, it will automatically go into 4WD if it needs to. On to Boulder and the main highway and that was nearly dry. There I was facing a solid stream of vehicles heading south,which was workers heading for the oilfield.

Got to Gina's house about 6, and took in the pie I baked them. She showed me a painting she had been working on and asked for an opinion, so we talked about that a little bit. Bob had already left for his plowing job at the airport.

We got on our way just as it began to show a little daylight. Roads were good through this section and we saw no deer. As usual when you hit The Rim the road conditions changed there, and I always slow down and gear down to go down that hill in case there are any surprises. The road was more snow packed than icy. By now there was more daylight. Gina saw two moose on the hill to the north, probably a cow and a calf. On to Bondurant and by then the sun was rising and the colors in the sky and on the deep new snow on the mountains was pretty spectacular. Driving along the river was beautiful as usual with lots of snow on the trees and the highest peaks with lots of color. (Click on her link I placed in my last entry to see some of Gina's photos.) Soon we saw a herd of elk, maybe 50 plus or minus. I only saw a couple of them because I was driving but Gina saw lots. Next at Cabin Creek we saw the herd of bighorn sheep up on the hill above the river. Special visual gifts.

On into Jackson and got to the hospital about 9 a.m., half hour early for the surgery to put the Bardport in my chest. They took us right in and to the room where I changed into a gown. Signed forms and got the IV going for just saline solution at the moment. Saw quite a few people who would be in surgery with me, including the doctor and anesthesiologist, more nurses, etc. Dr. Poore and I visited. (He was the one who found the tumor in the first place when he did the endoscopy .) I asked him about the stomach pain I'd been having the the constipation and he suggested using Miralax. Surgery was still not until 11, so we laid/sat there for two hours when they took me on in to be ready for that. They told Gina they would call her in about an hour, but it was more like two and a half hours. She was able to visit with an acquaintance in the waiting room. They started the sleepytime stuff and I drifted off and did not know that the person in surgery ahead of me took a couple of hours longer before they took me in. When Gina told me what time it was later I was very surprised, not realizing how much time had gone by.

The surgery seemed to go well, but was more than I had been led to believe. Also the IV had leaked back into my hand and it was very swollen. They told me to put hot packs on it at home. Anyway when I woke up and dressed again, we went on into Oncology for my chemo treatment. As Gina said, I was pretty drugged up, also more than I expected, and although felt awake was spacing stuff out and kind of groggy. I started drinking more fluids. They took blood out of the port right away for the blood work by sticking a small "needle" with a little butterfly shaped valve through my skin into the port (just the little needle goes in, I guess the valve accepts the IV. Waited for those results and for the chemo cocktail to arrive. They got the IV drip going through the port and then the chemo drip started.

Dr. Meno came and gave me a check up. I just like him so much. He agreed that I should take the Miralax that Dr. Poore recommended and said it was the best thing we have. (Why haven't I known that any sooner?) I knew we would get the results of the monthly tumor marker test C-19-9 this time, and Carol handed him the page with that result. So he told me what that was. "Below normal" he said. "It can't get any better than this." Still in a drug induced stupor, I know I asked "What does it mean? He said,"It's Wonderful!"

In SLC 11/19 it was 170; on 12/3 it was 132; on 12/31 it is 33 (with normal being less than 37.) The liver and bile readings are also down again.

When I should have been dancing down the room and back, it was as hard for me to believe this news as when the Dr's. at the hospital in SLC had said I may have only three months to live, maybe one of them even said six weeks. I was speechless. Gina told me later Dr. Meno said "She's still out of it." And later I was so worried that he had thought I was weird for not being more joyous. But immediately I was thinking of all the prayers, blessings and support that I've received - that they worked. It seems miraculous. As well as how what the nurses at chemo and the doctors have done and of all the medical intricacies that have worked in such a short time. There is still so much that is unknown about what it does mean for the future. I don't know what it means yet. Two days later I'm still totally amazed and thankful. It's an awesome feeling.

Gina went to KMart drug store again and got the new pain and nausea meds and the Miralax for me. Then we ordered some sandwiches for lunch and ate while the chemo finished. I think by then it was 3:30 or something. Soon the drip finished and we headed home through the twilight. I was arguing that I could drive home from Gina's house or Boulder, but she kept saying that she would drive me all the way home and Bob would follow to drive her back home. And that she had signed a release at the hospital that she would drive me. As we got near her place I realized I did not feel at all like I should be driving and was very glad for her offer to bring me home. I was like a wrung out dish rag. We stopped to let Bob know we were back and Gina drove me all the way home. That added another two hours to her day, and Bob's too, as he had been driving the snow plow most of the day.

We drove right by Frosty's house and I didn't remember to drop off his pie, so told Joe he could have it. I'll make Frosty another one later. At home I shuffled up the steps and into the house. They wouldn't come in for tea or anything. When I looked in the mirror later there was a frightful sight. I got some tomato soup and toast fixed for dinner. Took the night time meds and went to bed.

I kept thinking that the procedure was more than I expected and was very sore in the upper left chest about the size of two palms. There is a 2" incision with 5 stitches and another 2 stitches above those. There is bruising and swelling. You can feel the port and tubes under the skin just below the collar bone. The chest area had a very heavy feeling and pained through to my back. But with the pain pill I was able to sleep pretty well anyway.

Sunday January 6 2008

The Pies

A quiet day with clouds - mist - and whiteout throughout the day. It snowed lightly off and on last night, all day, and still is about 8 p.m. Very light breeze, if any at all, and not bitterly cold. In fact at one point when I went out, the air had that neat smell of snow and humidity and I just took some enjoyable deep breaths. Precipitation Monday is supposed to be 40% chance of light snow, and still light wind so we should be in good shape for driving. The road will be slick, with a little black ice.

I baked two chess pies, one for Gina and one for Frosty, did laundry and vacuumed, Only reporting these mundane chores because I'm able to do a little bit of these things now.

Frosty and his son and big black lab came over this afternoon with his large flatbed truck with the v-plow (last time remember was a gigantic tractor with big solid plow). It's kind of a neat plow that lets him push or drag the snow. As they came in our lane the snow was flying clear over the top of the truck and hood. I don't know how he could see to drive, guess he didn't care about that, but it was quite a sight. He can drive backwards just as fast as frontwards. As he worked he got clear up flush to the garage door, so we now can drive the SUV right out in the morning. He must have spent 1-1/2 to 2 hours on the job. And he cleared lots of the snow and deeper drifts out of the yard on the approach to the garage. He shoved up two huge piles of snow one on either side of the road outside the yard that are higher than his truck. He did a nice job. (Later about sundown I saw a snowplow go by on the county road, but don't believe it was the county equipment. Maybe it was Nick going down to the Parkinson Place or something like that.)

Joe has fretted for two days about getting the road cleared - who's going with you - when are you leaving- check the weather - check the road report - are they through doing avalanche control in the Hoback Canyon - and this morning he went out and shoveled his truck out and made a track to the mailbox. I kept telling him Frosty wasn't supposed to come until Sunday afternoon, but that's how that goes. So grateful to have such a nice job done and THANK YOU FROSTY!!

Gina is going with me again in the morning to Jackson, I will have to get up before 5 a.m. and out of here before 6. Must do the usual no food or drink for 12 hours before, no jewelery or lotion, shower with antibiotic soap, check in the Day Surgery before 9:30 (and remember this is outpatient surgery to put the Bard Port in my chest at 11 a.m. The whole thing should be over by about noon or so. After I recover from that we'll go back to Oncology for the chemo treatment. I'll let you know how it goes, but probably won't write anything tomorrow.

I want to apologize again for not answering many emails or initiating many phone calls. The ambition for it seems to be way low, and I hope everyone understands that the incoming messages and calls are fairly time consuming without writing to everyone. That's where the blog comes in and it is a letter to each of you individually as well as collectively. It's about the best I can do right now, and I'm sorry not to do it individually. Please don't stop staying in touch because hearing from everyone is so meaningful right now. My soul friend Nancy in AZ, who has so much of her own difficulties right now says: "If you count Good Friends and Loved Ones,as Gold, you are about the Richest Lady I know". Thank you for that special thought Nancy, and boy is that the truth!!

Saturday January 5 2008

Last night during the night a blizzard set in. I don't know how hard the wind blew, just that it was blowing the snow horizontal when I let the dogs out about 3 a.m. They didn't waste any time out there. Its very hard to know how much snow falls when such wind is going on. Now the drifts are piled up more, perhaps a few might be as much as 1 to 4 feet. And the sagebrush is covered up more now. But at 3:30 or so the sun is shining from the west. Things are much more optimistic with a little sunshine. It is quite a bit warmer than it has been in the past weeks. I saw about 28 degrees this afternoon. The forecast is still for snow the next several days, but it sounds better than it did earlier.

The concern again is getting to Jackson on Monday. Its on my mind to call Frosty and make sure he will come to plow the road sometime tomorrow, and he will have to get clear in to the garage door or I can't get the car out.

Today the Wyoming Highway Department is doing avalanche control in the Hoback Canyon, so I would hope that they do an extra good job clearing out the road after that is accomplished. The options are to get a motel reservation for Sunday and Monday night, and then cancel them if we don't need it. And either leave Sunday afternoon to stay overnight and be there Monday morning. Or get up very early and be out of here in the dark of night before 6 a.m. to give some leeway time for poor road traveling. Spring can't come soon enough.

This has been a day that I've gotten several phone visits, which has been nice. Also I've puttered with housecleaning and mopped the kitchen and utility room floor for the first time. Then put on my coat and boots and took out several bags of garbage through the snow. That felt o.k. - a good way to get moving. Joe washed and changed the sheets. Its about time for him to bring in firewood and feed the cats. Their little door hole keeps getting drifted in, but Joe clears it and they are still getting in and out. I'm ready to pay the bills online that have come lately and that will be taken care of. It seems like it is taking longer every time for them to receive payments through the mail, and then they are late.

Here is a link where you can look up a picture of Bear Bread, which Gina sent to me. http://www.odyssei.com/travel-tips/16940.html

Wednesday Thursday Friday January 2, 3, 4 2008

Top Edis Sings to Us

Bottom, Lynn and Edis

We took pictures of Nancy too, but didn't find them on my photo card.

Was disappointed about that.

Nancy and Edis arrived about 4:30 on the first and left at maybe 9 a.m. this morning - Friday. Nancy flew from Port Angeles WA to Bozeman the night before and was able to see Edis perform with her band that night. After having some dinner they went to a Lutheran church and walked around a labyrinth, Nancy told me what that experience was like and I'd like to try it. I had been walking with the dogs and they drove in as I got back to the house. They made good time driving down from Bozeman, about 8 hours with an hour stop for lunch in Jackson. Edis got her car parked in the shop. I had made a grilled salmon dinner and it was just time to eat.

There was so much we did that I can't unsnarl on which day each thing happened so I'll just do a report of their whole visit. I'm not going to begin to even to remember it all, so will just hit the highlights that come to mind.

Background is that both of them worked for me at Big Sandy Lodge and we have kept in touch since. They are very special people to me and I wish you could also know them.

Nancy is one of my favorite people and lives at Seiku with her husband Roy. They are both teachers, which doesn't even begin to let you know about their experiences and professional accomplishments. Nancy has a PhD in teaching related to computers and has been active in alternative schooling. For about 25 years they have operated a charter fishing and hunting business on the rivers and forests of the Olympic Penninsula and live on the shore of the Straights of Juan de Fuca. If you followed the emails, photos and blog you know I visited them there about 2002 and Nancy has also been back here from time to time.

I admire Edis so much mostly for having the vision and determination to do just about anything that she has wanted to. She is also a teacher and is at the University of Montana in Bozeman. She is a professional musician, writing a lot of her own songs and music. She has also followed a major interest of doing outdoor things. She met her husband George when both of them were working in Yellowstone. George is a back country horseback ranger in the summers in Yellowstone Park. In 2004 when my family and I went to Glacier we visited Edis and George at their home.

They had a load of stuff from the car, and said there were reasons for all of it. Kind of mysterious. The fun thing which highlighted the days is that they brought gifts and surprises and spread them out throughout the whole time they were here, even to this morning. Everything they brought was consumable in one way or another so they honored my wish not to be given any more things. This had to have taken a lot of thought ahead of time. The first thing was toilet paper and we all laughed about that. Of course the whole time was filled with non-stop visiting and catching up on many years when we had not seen each other. Joe also enjoyed seeing them.They came with the agreement that they would do the cooking and give lots of help while they were here, and they certainly did that. They shopped for groceries on the way and brought baked things for us to enjoy. Actually Edis' husband George baked and sent several kinds of goodies that were delicious, so he was also a part of our days. For lunch the second day we had some yummy vegetable soup George had made. He made us cookies, homemade applesauce and banana bread. Nancy brought truffles and biscotti, cedar boughs from the northwest woods for fragrance, three perfect sand dollars from her beach, pretty notepads and list pads, and lavendar body mist that is grown and made in a nearby town, which were brought out at intervals too.

While they were here they bundled up and took several walks, which the dogs loved of course. We had nice sunny but cold days. Shortly after lunch Wednesday Edis drove into Pinedale to see her friend Kay who owns the Stockman where Edis used to work. Kay so very generously sent us back meals times four, prime rib, pork roast, vegetables, shrimp cocktail etc. Meals were easy with all the food we had. We are still eating that. While Edis was gone Nancy got a few kinks out of my laptop, but was unable to unkink a few more. That was certainly a help. We visited a lot, and I dozed off for a nap. That night Nancy and I stayed up until almost midnight talking.

Thursday we barely got through breakfast when the power went off. It came on a time or two. I unusually neglected getting us some good drinking water into pitchers ahead which I always make a point of doing. We didn't know the outage was going to last all day long. 3700 customers were affected, actually all of Sublette County and it was a very cold day. (Read about that at http://www.pinedaleonline.com/#power - start at the bottom of the article, newest is on top.) Joe brought in buckets of water hand pumped from the well for flushing the toilet, washing up and such, and we had the wood stove going as usual for keeping warm. Meals were easy and we did o.k. with getting something prepared. It was a mistake not to start the wood cook stove in the kitchen, but we also did fine without it. If we had, we could have had a nicer hot dinner.

Edis gave the dogs a badly needed brushing. I hadn't been up to brushing them since I'd gotten sick. There was a whole garbage basket full of Sparky hair. During the afternoon Edis took one of my hands and Nancy the other and did a wonderful relaxing hand forearm massage with aromatherapy oil. Then later we had the most special treat of Edis playing her guitar and singing for all of us. It was a special time, with lots of memories included. She just gets better and better.

When evening came we broke out the candles and the few battery powered lights I have in order to get the dinner together. It was dinner by candlelight. And after that was cleared away we played scrabble by candlelight. The lights came back on about 7:30 after several fits and starts. That evening Edis came out of her room with a bubble machine for soaking feet, and they each worked on a foot with all kinds of products, exfoliating, moisturizing and massaging. By then I just sort of melted into the chair. Such special thoughtful gifts and caring. We had tea and more visiting before bedtime then everyone turned in. Each time I woke in the night, my feet felt so wonderful.

Friday morning the plan was that they would wash the sheets and remake the beds, although I said it would be good for me to have something to do. It was soon all done and everything cleaned up. Joe went in to the Pinedale Clinic this morning and his blood test was better this time. He doesn't have to go back for a month. He had lunch in town.

Their car started right up, and everything was loaded in again and off they went. Nancy called about 5:30 and they'd made it back to Bozeman in very good time. She will fly home to Washington tomorrow morning.

As for how I've felt since my chemo treatment, ...... not good. Those high falutin' nausea pills really made me super constipated which didn't get better until today. I'm still having stomach pain from that. It made me pretty mad to go through days of that when I've continued to tell "them" this is such an issue, and especially not to be feeling as good as I might when we have company. The hospital has called to say my surgery to insert the port in my chest is scheduled for Monday and I have to be there at 9:30.

There may be a pretty big storm coming in, to be seen whether it does reach us. But it is predicted to have high wind and dump a bunch of snow here in the next several days.

January 1 2008

Torchlight Parade at White Pine Ski Area

Lifted out of the Pinedale paper.

As I first write 2008, I think of all the checks and forms to remember to get the right date on.

So this morning will write about our trip to Jackson yesterday. It's another long one. If you don't want all the details like some do, just skim.

Remember Gina and I had decided we should cancel the trip because of the storm we had, figuring the roads wouldn't be very good for traveling.

Didn't sleep well the night before and then was awake at 6 a.m. but laid back down and really zonked out until 9. I opened my eyes and saw the sunlight streaming in and went "BOING". Had to call Oncology and ask if I could come in another day. They are closed New Years Day of course, so Wednesday was the first possibility and I would miss having my checkup with the Huntsman doctor. Nurse Carol nearly insisted that I come to keep the doctor appointment, and they could do the chemo after. She said Wednesday was too busy to include me anyway. I said we'd be there in about 3 hours, then called Gina and she was still able to go along with me. I said I'll be there in an hour.

It was so sunny and beautiful here that Joe kept saying "You're missing a good day". In fact, even after the storm yesterday he was saying I'd still be able to drive out. I dressed warm, washed up and took my yogurt and hot tea with me. Joe had taken the chains back off the car and got it out for me. Then drove ahead of me out the lane to break the snowdrifts. The snowplows hadn't cleared the county (dirt) road yet, but it was quite good and other vehicles had been through the drifts so I did just fine. After the horrid storm we had I was surprised the roads were as good as they were. (The drift in the corral is about to my hips.)

Picked up Gina about 10 and we were on our way. I asked her for a bottle of water because mine I keep in the car was frozen (who woulda thunk?) and I needed to keep hydrating so my veins would be good. Had been drinking all night

The highways were sometimes dry to good on up to the Rim where they began to be snowpacked, but weren't as slick and icy as last time. Going along next to the river it was snowing lightly and pretty misty so the visibility was an issue there, but everyone was going more slowly and being careful. I also had smeary glasses, probably dog kisses, that needed to be cleaned and had to keep shifting my head to get a seeable angle through them.

Was kind of up in the air about the sudden shift in the plans, so seemed to be having small feelings of being nervous/anxious/stressed/distracted. It seemed I couldn't relax and enjoy the scenery as much as last time, although so much of it was spectacularly beautiful. I especially love when the hills disappear back into the mists, like a watercolor painting. The river had more solid ice on it than the last time. Starting down into Jackson the roads were clear.

The drive with Gina was so enjoyable and she kept me entertained with stories from her past, and history of the area. She was raised on a remote mountain ranch that got very snowed in in the winters. When she was born her mom's water broke 2 months early, and so she the birth was unexpected. They had to take her mom as far as Cora with a team hooked to the front bobs of the hay rack sled, since it wasn't all put together yet, getting down there in the middle of the night. Then had to get the vehicle warm enough to start, they built a fire under it (under the engine- that was common then - why they didn't catch on fire or blow up I don't know), and pulled it with the team til it started. They got to Jackson and the hospital about 7 and she was born at 7:30 a.m. Can you imagine? There's lots more to the whole story, and lots more adventures. I hope we get to read the book soon.

We arrived at the hospital a little before noon. It wasn't nearly as busy as the last times and when I got into my chair I was the only one, a couple of others had just finished. We saw people we know from Pinedale again. I am always so grateful that one thing I can be thankful for is I'm not near as sick as most of the other people who are there. We all need to pray for ones who are ill that way.

My visit with Dr. Buys from the Huntsman went fine. She really seems knowledgable, which I expected. Everyone from there is on the cutting edge of all the info and research. My bloodwork this time came back improved again, with the liver enzymes down. They took blood for the tumor markers and that will be back in a few days.

Next they started my chemo drip and Gina went over to KMart to get my new more powerful anti nausea pill prescription filled. That was good - and thank you Gina - because it saved us some time on the way home. When she came back and told me it was for 5 pills and cost $250 I was speechless. The insurance part D paid for all but $22. I will boycott those next time even if the insurance pays it. (I just don't believe that price can/should be possible) ...and after these are gone will just keep taking the cheap ones I already have since the nausea wasn't that bad - esp. if I would take the blankety blank pills like they tell me to. That's another thing that gets procrastinated.

We ordered grilled ortega turkey sandwiches on sourdough from the hospital restaurant menu which was good and ate lunch while I got my treatment. I also had a cup of beef barley soup that was very good. Carol gave me a flyer about a support group that is starting on Wednesday Jan. 9 afternoons in Pinedale. I think I should try to go to that, even if just for a reason to start getting out of the house more than only going to chemo. We were finished about 3 p.m. and started on home.

Joe gave me specific orders to call him when we left Jackson and again when we left Pinedale, but from the time we left the hospital all I got was a busy signal. I have to tell you, although trying to assure myself everything was o.k. at home, I was a little worried. You know how you can envision all kinds of terrible things. Gina offered to drive me home in case something had happened to Joe today, but they had a nice evening planned and I told her then I'd have to drive her back home. And besides, just like he's always done all these years that he never called home, I'd just tell him, "No news is good news". Since they had got the new phone equipment in I don't know why its having a problem - but when I got here the phone was dead. Told Gina if anything was wrong I'd call 911. But if I'd had to, I don't know how I'd have called 911.

We got to Gina's about 4:30. She had told me about a thing called Bear Bread that they had gotten on their trip to Alaska. I wish you could see it because describing it isn't easy. If you think of a fungus growing on the tree, which Gina said it's not, that would be a place to start. There are small and large ones. She showed me both sizes. The shape generally is a thick "L" shape. The side that faces down is pure white and flat. The rest of it is about tree colored. She had one about 18" across and she said when they got it from the forest it weighed about 80 pounds and when it dried out, I lifted it with one hand, it weighs maybe under 10 pounds. She is painting pictures on the white side and gave me a small one she had done, it's a landscape with mountains and a river. I am just enthralled by the whole idea of it, and that she made it and gave it to me. It is sitting on a special spot in the bookcase where I can see it easy.

Gina and Charm and their husbands went to the torchlight ski parade tonight and then had dinner up at White Pine. Charm and Jim skied and Gina and Bob will watch. Charm said the wind was blowing hard and it was cold skiing.

Got home fine, saw only a few deer and they were not in the road, just close. Got here about 5:40 - glad to see still a twilight in the west instead of darkness. They had plowed the co. road and it was quite nice. Our Richie Road was better than it was this morning with a little traffic having gone in since I went out. Joe said Norm and Jep had come over to visit, kind of surprised him while he was vacuuming. When I got here everything was fine and Joe didn't know the phone was not working, just said it never rang all day. And that was fine with him. Of course it would have to be on a holiday again. Fixed us some scrambled eggs for dinner so that was easy and good.

With the way the day all came about, I ended up just a little more stressed by the time I got home, starting with leaving late, etc etc. But sat quietly for a while, read the email and felt better. Later I worked some on my photos to get them ready for catching up onto the blog. Was tired. In a while I realized that this is the same symptoms I've had each time as night comes on. The same headache, dry nose and eyes and pain in the neck. Took my first $50 pill!!! I ought to feel really great for the next couple of days. Anyway better!!!!

Could not get to sleep, until finally by 1 a.m. felt like laying down and dozed until about 3. Then got a snack, watched several programs on TV, made tea, up and down getting my bean bag hot repeatedly in the microwave to put on my neck, etc, etc. Finally after Joe got up, I could sleep and it was 10 a.m. when I woke up. I did not get the bad shoulder pain.

As I sat awake I had several very good positive thoughts and insights. First was what I'd already told Gina on the way home, that I was ready to start getting back out and socializing more. And perhaps that should be my No. 1 New Year's Resolution. I have really managed to cut off seeing and visiting with people, but the quiet and recuperating has been good. So I must be feeling better. I believe riding with Gina and talking with her - and the time being right - gave me insights about the point I'm at in the illness. Everything I hear that someone else is doing that is fun, I wish I could be there or do that. Beverly said they had family night with her wonderful potato salad and chicken fingers and I wished I could have been there. I wished I could have gone to the torchlight parade. I'm thinking about wanting to do things again - travel, or go to lunch and meetings with friends. If I could pick one thing strive for I'd like to take that train trip across Canada that we've talked about and go up into the parks - Jasper and Banff. Just be a tourist. Or something like that to look forward to. Maybe by spring I'll be well enough to do that, though that is an unknown. I also feel like getting back to writing the book. That is part of what I've been doing by organizing the files.

Edis and Nancy are traveling here from Bozeman today and will be here tonight for a visit. Edis is bringing her guitar. They will leave on Friday. I'll let you know more about their stay the next few days, but Joe and I are looking forward to seeing them very much.

Well this was a good thing to do today, just sit and write.

Thank you all my special friends. I cherish your friendship and support more than you know. You don't know how much that means to me. The best ever New Year to you all. What ever it brings 2008 has to be better than last year was for us. Much love and hugs.