Thursday, September 25, 2008

Wednesday September 24 2008


Sunset Yesterday



Today was quiet and I was very sleepy all day. Only slept about 3 or 4 hours last night. Betty took a nap and I dozed in my chair. The time dozing and waking would have been better spent just to lay down for a real nap. I wrote up the information for yesterday and the test results. We visited, Got some lunch on the table and had the leftover Swiss steak for dinner.

Our neighbor Jim called and offered to bring Joe a load of firewood. Another angel. We will probably see them this weekend. Toward evening we took a walk down the road - that was a good thing. When we turned to come back to the house Sparky sat in front of me and wouldn't let me past in that direction. He wanted me to keep walking and was very insistent. But that was enough for today. I had to fake him out to get past and head to the house.

Here is an excerpt from the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert hat Judy gave me yesterday after our visit. I read this book about a year ago:

GRATITUDE

In the end though, maybe we must all give up trying
to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives.

In the end, maybe it is wiser to surrender
before the miraculous scope of human generosity
and just keep saying thank you,
forever and sincerely
for as long as we have voices.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Tuesday September 23 2008


Alpenglow

Five Photo Panorama of the Wind Rivers



Evening Light through Aspens


Glow on the Rim

Today was very interesting and full of surprising turns. Judy called me at 6:30 to see where I wanted to meet the shuttle since I was the only one going. So instead of Daniel I said Pinedale I got ready and met the shuttle at the Pinedale Clinic at 9 a.m. The ride was beautiful with the colors turning along the way. We pulled into the hospital parking lot and Betty had been there for over an hour. I made arrangements with Al that he wouldn't be taking me back home today.

I got into Chemo and again they said "you're early" I was right on time with the appointment card they gave me. Oh, Well. So they weren't expecting me for another half an hour. We sat there just waiting for the ultrasound until nearly noon. They drew blood for my tests and all that was pretty good. Still low on protein and potassium and for the first time Carol said that this could be caused not by my diet but by having diarrhea so often. Ah-HAA!

They were having some kind of disaster drill at the hospital today. I didn't see much of anything different, but guess they were out there practicing for some kind of disaster. They told us the participants could come in at any time, but never did. I had to have a wrist i.d. bracelet this time because of it, and head nurse Judy was gone to a meeting most of the afternoon.

The ultrasound technician came to get me just before noon and Betty went along to watch. She placed the instrument at front middle left side on my neck. She said the pictures are seen in sections all the way through my neck from front to back. After taking the tests in to Dr. Berlin, he wanted just a little different view and we did another look.

They told me verbally there IS a clot in the left jugular vein and it may have been there for a while- I don't know how long a while is or how big the clot is. So..... now I'm on coumadin to get it dissolved. I'll take that at least 6 months and have to go for protime blood tests just like Joe does. The first is to be Thursday when I go to the clinic to get the pump off. They were going to give me a printed copy of the results of the ultrasound, but I don't think it will be written up until Wednesday. I will have to get the printed report next time and hope I remember to do that. They seem sure that it will just slowly resolve and is PROBABLY not dangerous. There are no masses in my neck. So when I get that information I'll write on that again. The clot is not where that terrible pain was located - which is much better now. Maybe I just slept wrong on my neck.

I did get the copy of last week's CT scan. Here are some parts of that. They scanned around the port and catheter but couldn't quite see if there was or wasn't a clot so ordered the ultrasound. It showed here is some diminished density in the lower portion of the left jugular vein. Not clear whether it could be an involvement of the port or not. The port and catheter didn't show any problems and is in the proper place. There is no evidence of adeopathy or mass in this area. The problem with drawing blood may merely be related to reflux of unopacified venous blood from the left upper extremity into the left jugular vein, otherwise unremarkable.

They next went to my chest. Saw other views of the port which showed it to be o.k. There are traces of vascular calcification in the aorta and coronary arteries - that's o.k. No evidence of masses. No significant pulmonary masses are seen (lungs).

Next they scanned the abdomen and pelvis. There is stil evlidence of the previously described mass in association with the pancreatic head. This appears minimally smaller than the last CT scan. Scattered liver lesions are also less apparent on the current exam. There is a mild diffuse increased fatty change to the liver (don't know what that means so will google it soon or ask Dr. Ward at my appointment). Kidneys are o.k. Minimal prominence of upper abdominal lymph nodes which are unchanged in appearance. They saw degenerative disk disease and degenerative changes in the lumbar spine - no lesions were identified there - same as before.

We ordered a nice lunch. Betty had the roast beef dinner and I had the lasagna special with a salad. It was very tasty. They had to wait more while the clot buster drug worked on the port catheter so they could get a blood return. Then started the chemo. It dripped until after 4 then they got the portable pump hooked up and we were free to go.

After eating lunch Betty went to her car for a little cat nap and then drove out to see the Tetons. There were only two patients in the chairs by this time and the nurses started joking around with each other. Most of it had to do with Barbie dolls and Barrie Manilow feather boas. Judy wants a boa for her husband. They were hysterical and it was a lot of fun to experience this side of them. They are usually way too busy with patients to joke around. Carol gave me Wanda, a sparkling blinking wand to bling down from the intravenous pole stand onto the left side of my neck where the clot is. Probably Wanda will work as well as anything else - at least we all had a good laugh. Carol had time to get their new book on side effects of medication and looked up nearly all my symptoms, so see which of the 5 chemo drugs they are giving me would cause some of the things I'm having. Most bothersome right now is that the skin is peeling off my hands and feet. They had always looked a little askance at me when I told them this is happening. I go around with bandaids around all my fingers and on my feet.She found that one of the chemos is causing exfoiliating dermatitis. Another one causes the blistering in my mouth, and another the tearing and nasel drip. Much of it causes dizziness and nausea. So I appreciated learning more and that Carol took time to educate me.

There is another lady named Judy who works there. She had a terrible accident in July where she was going home after dark in July over Teton Pass. An oncoming car came across the line and she drove slightly off the pavement then overcorrected. The car rested on the edge of the embankment for a few seconds and then slid down the hill and overturned into the creek. She was strapped in upside down in three feet of water. She was able to undo her seatbelt and get out the fortunately open window - my what if the window had been shut! She had a very bad concussion, but climbed back up the hill and tried to wave down some help, her hands held in a prayerful position begging for someone to stop. After nine cars passed one did stop and the driver called an ambulance. Judy and I had a very long and heartfelt talk about how when there is a diverging path in your life and you have serious choices to make that we both had always come up with the right plan and that usually someone stepped forward to help.

That is the way it's been all my life. There is just about nothing else to do except tell those people thank you. I know my Lord Jesus has always been by my side since I was a child in every serious or troubled time. And that there are angels on earth to help and just seem to appear with perfect timing. Our visit was really inspiring and I appreciated the time she spent with me.

Judy and I also talked about art and music, her husband is a professional musician, the parallels between fine art and other creative avocations.That most people go through life never seeing the beauty around them. I've always thought the greatest blessing of my art is how it's taught me to look and truly see.

Betty and I stopped at Smiths for prescriptions and groceries. I did a big shopping and got everything on the list, so am glad for that. We drove back to Pinedale through the canyon and valley beauty. We got my car at the Pinedale Clinic about sunset and got home in the dark about 8:15. Unloaded the groceries. It was about 9:30 when we had a really good grilled cheese sandwich for our dinner. Still chatting and giggling, we didn't get to bed and sleep until about 12:30. So it was a very long day for us both.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Monday September 22 2008


Ducks on Muddy Creek

It's gray and raining today. Just showers coming and going, nothing major. Not very cold either in the early part of the day and no wind so far. That changed in the afternoon when the temperature dropped about 15 degrees in about a half an hour and the wind began blowing fairly hard. Yellow leaves are blowing off the cottonwood trees spiraling past the windows. There's a bunch of antelope just the other side of the fence this morning. and have stayed there all day. The buck slowly goes around the herd of about a dozen does keeping them together, and they have minded him all day. Sometimes they don't and take a notion to escape. Then the chase is on. He usually gets them back.

Debbie called last night and we talked for about an hour. The renter/buyers might be able to keep their old much bigger home they were loosing with the changes the government is initiating, so Debbie and Curtis may have moved all their belongings out for nothing and will have to go get some stuff back out of storage. Right now they are sleeping on futons on the floor each with a cardboard box for a night stand, and kept one recliner each. Makes life more interesting I guess.

Woke up late, but refreshed and feeling better today than for a long time. I got some laundry going. The house is in o.k. shape for company so I don't have to do much cleaning, just get the dust bunnies out from under Betty's bed. Already had a bunch of phone calls this morning - Sheral in Texas - she had emailed me some pictures of the hurricane Ike damage around her daughter's place down there where they are visiting near Houston. Despite all that going on, they are having a good stay there. They got a beautiful new pool and it's good weather for poolside fun with the family. Betty got to her friend's house in Logan and will head for Alpine soon to see another friend there - then over to Jackson in the morning and meet me at the hospital. Nanny called and we had a very good visit. What a sweetheart.

Well, I've been looking at homes to buy in Pinedale. Anything on the lower end of the price scale just looks dismal. I would not (want to) live in 90% of them. James is going to help look for a place as as our broker, and I'm very thankful for him and his experience. We are likely to have to spend more money than I thought to find a nice place. Maybe while Betty's here we can check out a few of the more promising possibilities

In the meantime, we received a very gracious offer of the possibility for Joe and I to stay in a friend's furnished home this winter. They will be snow birds. It is another option to think about. I'm not going into the details right now because there are lots of iffy things. But I was just speechless with this offer. And wonder of wonder, Joe said yes he would go there with me. He still wants to snow machine to the mailbox and leave a truck out there again and said I could ride on the sled. And I said I don't think so.

Joe had told me when his driver's license was up this year - Oct 6 - and that he would not be able to pass the vision test again. But he checked and he has another year left until his license is up. So that's a good thing. Joe goes to the dentist tomorrow while I'm gone to chemo.

Thinking of leaving home for the winter prompted me to clean out the freezer. I can not buy any more meat, for one thing, or won't be able to use it - or even much of what is in the freezer. It's going to be something of a problem to think of leaving it here, and what if the power goes off for days. As usual the day I clean the freezer, I picked out the meat with the oldest date - round steak - and am making a roaster of Swiss steak out of it. With mashed potatoes, mmmm.


A nice autumn poem and photo from Judy

AUTUMN -- Rainer Maria Rilke

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sunday September 21 2008

Fog

Clearing Storm

Across the Field
Couldn't decide which of the two similar
ones I liked so used them both.

Woke up to dense fog this morning. Beautiful - I love it. As I was falling asleep I heard some raindrops on the roof and crashing thunder, one blast after another. I must have fallen asleep almost immediately in spite of the din. This morning everything was fairly dampened down. Probably the best rain we've had in some time, still not-soaking-everything-with-puddles-in-the-road rain. I got a couple pictures of the fog, not as dense as it had been at first.

Sandra invited me to go fishing again today, but still here I sit. Hope they have a good time. Been spending some time checking on the internet to see what houses are available and what they cost.

My eyes are back to having a watering fit today. Nose too. They have been some better for a while. So irritating not to mention uncomfortable. I can't really do much work. I've wondered how much moisture you loose that way with constant tears streaming down your face and nose dripping like a faucet. Anyway I have had a pretty laid back day so far. Just watching the hawks soar and dive over the fields. But ..... haven't taken a day pain pill again today and that is good. But I might end up taking a Benadryl for the eyes and nose, but just don't want to get sleepy. Which is worse?? Haven't doing much answering email lately or such.

Joe worked some more on his wood pile this morning and is watching baseball today..... mostly with his eyes closed it looks like. Folded a couple loads of laundry this morning. We'll have some tacos and beans for dinner.

Thinking about Joan in Arizona again. They have such a decadent life style what with laying out in the sun by the pool. And riding the golf cart to take the champions down to the dog park to play. I can just picture them in that glorific desert beauty, sitting in their rocking chairs with margaritas on the porch. Well, you guys have a good time and I'll think about you when the snowflakes fall.

Mark stopped in to ask if he could hunt sage chickens on our field and it was good to see him again. It's been a while. Wonder if he got some.


"For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways."(Psalm 91:11)
And I've sure had my share of angels and guidance in the last year.

Saturday September 20 2008

Saturday Sunrise


Under the Fence



Woke up before 4 a.m. and finally just got up, read the paper, and saw the insert that they have made to inform the public about the community and art center special tax. It looked like they had done a nice job with that and I hope it works to get people to vote for the tax. There are lots more articles in the paper about crime and drug possession lately. Effects on a small town of the oil and gas field industry. I mainly read the paper online any more.

It's mostly cloudy and a sprinkle of raindrops is shining red on the window in the sunrise. I got a picture, but have to admit that I don't see too many sunrises. It's supposed to get cooler and the weather not be as nice as it has lately. The hunters will like that I suppose. It showered several more times during the day, never enough to hardly wet anything down.

Today got the house pretty well cleaned up and some laundry done. Brushed out Sparky the hair manufacturing machine and cut his toenails. It takes an hour. He loves it. Or maybe loves the slice of cheese he gets for being so good.

Am feeling some better than I was earlier in the week and am grateful for that. The swelling in my arm seems o.k. and just a little left in my foot. My toes had been looking like fat sausages. Neck is better too, but that odd pain is not gone yet - that's kind of what woke me up this morning or at least was the first thing that I noticed. At least I've been able to lessen the pain medicine and hope I'll be less sleepy during the day and less nauseous.

Bonnie lent me three videos and I've really enjoyed watching them, especially The Ballad of Cable Hogue. I don't know why I never heard of this movie before. It was just great - every part of it - music, the story and dialogue, the acting by every person in it. I never thought of Jason Robards being very romantic, but he sure was in here, and Stella Stevens as well. I didn't like that he died in the end.The other two movies are Conagher and The Other Side of Heaven. I guess I'm not missing TV too much because I still haven't rattled their cage again..... yet.

Later in the day I had a really nice visit on the phone with Joan. They were traveling from L.A. to the Phoenix area where they have another home to do some work on the house. She owns two Wheaten Terriers that at least one is a champion, Peppermint Patti called Snickers, and some fancy name ending with Biscotti, they call Biscuit. Either Peppermint Patti or one of her daughters is third highest ranked Wheaten in the US.

Surprise call from Judi in Texas, so far away. What faith she has in me - she called to ask me what was that word for the paper with the "pedigree" of a piece of art or an antique etc. Of course I couldn't think of it since she asked so suddenly, but as soon as she hung up I thought of Certificate of Provenance and googled it. That was IT!! That was really digging into the far depths of the old file cabinet mind. Maybe my memory's not so bad as I think. In the meantime we had a great visit.

Betty called and had made it to Nephi. Tomorrow she will visit three friends along the way with the final destination of Alpine before she comes though the Snake River Canyon to meet me in Jackson on Tuesday. She said she would call again tomorrow evening when she stops.

Sandra had asked me to go fishing with them. They went to Little Half Moon Lake and walked down the creek. They didn't catch any of the many cutthroats they could see, they just kissed her worm. She said: "Found lots of nice trout in one of the big pools but they just followed my worm and discussed it among themselves. (And she said also that her brother) Randy and Sally got married today at Sally's friend's house who's a minister. Cute little log cabin chapel." CONGRATULATIONS TO RANDY AND SALLY!


It was on this day in 1519 that Ferdinand Magellan departed on the first successful circumnavigation of the world, although Magellan himself didn't live to see the end of the expedition. He was looking for a westward route to the spice markets of the Indies. He was Portuguese but sailed for Spain. Five ships sailed and one returned with only 18 men left alive. He named the Pacific Ocean.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday September 19 2008





Fall Hillside







We had our Mixed Media meeting here today. It started off looking not so well for the meeting. Ruth got here right on time, while I was still vacuuming the studio and hadn't had my shower yet. And then we got some phone calls and it looked like no one was coming of the ones who said yes. Well then Sandy called and said she wanted to bring out the new set of architect plans for the center for us to see. We told her it was just Ruth and I - maybe it wouldn't be worth coming, but she said she wanted to get out of town. So she got here about 11 or so. In the mean time Nancy had driven up - she wanted to come whether the other gals did or not. So we had four. We printed out the description of the beads on the spirit necklace that Nanny gave me and followed each one around, with what they were made of and how old each one is - and marveled at the age of them. Just to touch a 5000 year old bead is rather awesome.

Then just about lunch time Cristy drove in and there were five of us. We had plenty of food, in fact way too much and it was pretty good. Ruth brought all the roast turkey sandwich makings, and I had the two salads and desert. We even all got some artwork done, as well as lots of gabbing. We had a meeting after lunch to discuss the center plans, but danged if we didn't forget to talk about our upcoming art show. But there's already a good plan so we'll be fine. And I worked on one of the commissions - the detail stuff that for quite a while doesn't look like you've done anything, takes a lot of time, wearing the magnifying glasses. But that's what makes the painting. I got worn out anyway, so must have had a good time.

Looks like everyone is showing the fall colors on their blogs. It is quickly turning to glorious perfection. I want to go out and get some more pictures soon.

Sheral called this morning and they made it to Houston yesterday. She said there is a lot of devastation but mostly that in this area blown down trees are everywhere. She is going to send some pictures for us to see. I'll share them with you. Joe started splitting wood with his log splitter today and spent the time out in the yard instead of the hen house. He might have enough wood left for two years.

Every day I look forward to Betty arriving and then to when Debbie will be here for a while.


Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thursday September 18 2008


More Cowboys

Mainly quiet and relaxing today. This morning Kevin and his older brother Curt and their boys came over. They are up from Layton to go sage chicken hunting. They ride their ATVs a lot too. He wanted to see the things George made out of horseshoes, to make some for their place - mainly the coathooks and the bridle hooks that I have. They all looked at the art show. He brought us a box of peaches which was very nice of them. Kevin said that Sheral and Dick finally got on a flight to Houston this morning, so they are on their way. They are all certainly nice neighbors.

We had quite some thunder in the afternoon and dark clouds, lots of thunderclouds, but no rain here. It didn't last long.

Tomorrow Mixed Media will meet here from about 9 to 4. Not too many have responded with yes, so it won't be a large group. Ruth is my co-hostes. She is bringing roast turkey sandwiches. I have made Alpenglow frozen fruit salad, a pasta salad is ready to put the dressing on tomorrow, some Hello Dollys for snacking, and will have a key lime pie. It should be real easy to get the lunch on. Joe vacuumed this afternoon, and I mopped the floors and cleaned in general. Also did a couple loads of laundry.

I'm feel about like I have, mainly not much ambition. Betty called and she will visit some friends around Logan and Afton on Monday, and will come over to Jackson Tuesday morning to meet me at chemo. Then we will drive on home. It is a good thing she can see her friends who have moved away from Mesquite. I've been writing some recipes for my recipe collection. I should have seen if the printed ones would scan and convert to text, but didn't do that today.

I got Joe an eye dr. appointment when they are coming to Pinedale on the 3rd. I left a message 2 weeks ago that he needed the appointment and they were gone until the 18th. So when I called today and they said all the appointments were filled for the Pinedale day, I demanded to have one anyway. When I got uppity, they said he could come in at 3 p.m. I may be gone to Nevada then. At least we don't have to drive to Rock Springs right now.

The real estate business that is going to use one of my paintings on their large quarterly hand out magazine want to use that painting on their Christmas cards. I am thinking of asking them for 50 blank ones for ourselves and see what they say - as long as they are printing a big batch of them.

Here is 28 hurricane pictures along with a lot of viewer comments. It's very big and never loaded all the pictures for me, but what it showed was great, so if you have a slow computer you might not want to try it. I thought they were interesting. You can go there if you want to see them. http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/09/the_short_but_eventful_life_of.html

DOOMED SPACECRAFT: Jules Verne is about to become a fireball. On Sept. 29th, with NASA aircraft looking on, the 22-ton European spacecraft will plunge into Earth's atmosphere over the south Pacific Ocean and harmlessly disintegrate. Jules Verne recently spent five months docked to the space station where it delivered supplies, used its engines help the station avoid a piece of space junk, and served as an impromptu bedroom for the ISS crew. Mission accomplished, the doomed spacecraft is now making its final orbits around Earth glowing about as brightly as Polaris (the North Star). US and European observers are favored with flybys this weekend. If you'd like to see Jules Verne, check the Simple Satellite Tracker for viewing times: http://spaceweather.com/flybys/